||[Mar. 9th, 2015|10:26 pm]
|||||death cab for cutie||]|
some days are easier. some moments are harder. i keep having this overwhelming sense of anxiety. it washes over me at the strangest moments, especially at work when my mind wanders. i realize at that moment that it is over and he doesn't want to be with me and never will. on one hand i think it will eventually work out, maybe he will come to his senses and want to be with me. i hope that every buzz is a text from him... he hasn't contacted me at all. everyone says that he would have/should have by now. its only been 10 days! who can make up their mind in 10 days? i am a girl and hold on to that last hope that he will come running back to me, say that i am the one.
On the other hand, maybe i am over it. why should i put up with this shit? there are a million other better guys out there for me....isn't there? i think back on the guys that i have pulled the "its not you, its me" line on. it has usually been them lol. if he doesn't like me then fuck him.
i also know i am not ready to get out there again. its been nice not having facebook. i have so much more time in my life. and no cigarettes for 13 days now. i really want to get a bunch of projects/organizing/reading/relaxing done before i go back to the social media real world. i just know i cant go back on it until i am over him...blah. stupid that my life has become a giant stress ball because of a dude.
"no you cant find nothing at all if there was nothing there all along"